I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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