Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
