No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
