if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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