remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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