I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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