I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
