Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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