I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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