Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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