just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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