He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
