Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
