operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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