Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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