If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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