i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
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