I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I could fuck to npr.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
where are my eyebrows?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
