Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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