he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
