My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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