Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
