Jerry, you need to find god
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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