We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
