i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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