Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
