im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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