R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she pinky promised me she was 18
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
