So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The chlamydia really affected his face.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
