Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
