my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
