so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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