I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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