he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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