That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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