this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
