how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
