you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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