There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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