This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
