me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
