Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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