My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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