You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
