if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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