i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
