the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
