suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
