idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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