Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
